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Whether you’re dealing with an angry driver, a pushy relative, or a domineering supervisor, keep a healthy distance, and avoid engagement unless you absolutely have to. Depersonalize and Shift from Reactive to Proactive Miguel Angel Ruiz Being mindful about the nature of aggressive, intimidating, and controlling people can help us de-personalize the situation, and turn from being reactive to proactive. (2006) The Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR). (1948)Youmay have hose fundemental rights, but unless you have the power to back them up, they are ultimately unenforceable and worthless. It is not respectable to be aggressive or controlling when feeling authoritative to get one's point across to the other person.
There are times when you may feel like you’re “stuck” with a very difficult person, and there’s “no way out.” In these situations, keep your options open. One effective way to de-personalize is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, even for just a moment. If the aggressor has much more power, your rights are straws in the wind. If we don't realize that we can't simply state what rights are and sit back and enjoy them, then they are likely to remain nothing more than wind. If one feel that their human rights are being violated, one has a right to speak on their behalf.
Consult with trusted friends and advisors about different courses of action, with your personal well-being as the number one priority. For example, consider the offender you’re dealing with, and complete the sentence: “It must not be easy…” “My friend is so aggressive. Most highly agressive people I meet in relationships or at work are NOT people who can handle much resistance. Overall, we must learn how to communicate to others the way we want to be communicated to from the other person.
It must not be easy to come from an environment where everyone was forced to compete…” “My manager is really overbearing. I try to make sure I am backed up by having people I can go to who can advise me legally if things should go so far. This is the most valuable article I have ever read in my life, especially since I have passive-aggressive relatives who have to make their own son seem superior to me, an unstable mother, a father who is never there, and classmates stupid enough to be racist without even getting to know me first.
Below are seven keys to dealing with aggressive individuals, excerpted from my book (click on title): “How to Successfully Handle Aggressive, Intimidating, & Controlling People.” Not all of these ideas may apply to your particular situation. By doing so, they create an advantage over you, from which they can exploit your weakness.
The first rule of thumb in the face of a difficult person is to keep your cool.
If you react by being on the defensive, you simply fall into the trap of being scrutinized, thereby giving the aggressor more power while she or he picks on you with impunity. You only think the dominant person has no respect for others, or would chew your leg off in a second, because you're interactions with them is from the position of meek and weak.